why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
Don’t do that. Don’t skip stages in your life. You’re 19, kiss a few boys and wear your heart on your sleeve. There will come a time when you’re 39 and stuck in a suit, wondering why the hell you were so eager to grow up in the first place.